What’s your first reaction when I say, ‘Next time, you …’? How would you finish that sentence? I can see situations where this might be the beginning of a suggestion. But my immediate reaction when I read these words most recently was, ‘Excuse me? Why are you talking to me like that?’
What follows can emphasize the warning. ‘Next time, do better. You can’t afford to make these mistakes again.’ ‘Next time, don’t be late or you won’t be allowed in class.’ ‘Next time, call me first before you do anything stupid.’
But, you could also soften the warning. ‘Next time, do better. If you work harder you could really be successful.’ ‘Next time, don’t be late. I know it’s not an easy commute but try to be on time so you don’t miss anything.’ ‘Next, time call me first. I’m here to help you.’
In the case of a customer service email I received, the ‘Next time’ was followed by a direct order. ‘Next time, instead of depositing your check at the branch, do it right in the app with Mobile Check Deposit’. This was after I was already put off from the initial email subject line ‘Mariam, next time you deposit a check, use your phone instead.’ And of course, I got this email because I had just deposited a check, only not via mobile.
Now, if a close friend or family member were saying this to me, it might be okay. There may be enough context for me and an audible casual tone to interpret this as a mere suggestion. Unless, they have a habit of telling me what to do. Don’t tell me what to do. When a complete stranger uses the language above in writing, and uses my name, it doesn’t read as being friendly or personal. It reads as if I’m being singled out because I’ve done something wrong. That I should do better.
Next time, write more politely. See what I just did there? The message may work in an audio/video format but in writing, there’s no friendly tone to soften the overt directness of the words.
Your word choice matters. Your tone matters. Your context and your audience matter. Try something like ‘Next time, you can deposit your check by phone instead.’ Same message but it reads as more of a friendly reminder, a suggestion.
Do better. Next time.
Mariam Sultan 